What was I thinking?!?!?!?
I really don’t know what happened…but I can only describe it as Coupon Fever. Have you ever had Coupon Fever? Let me tell you the symptoms:
- Possession of a Coupon for 40% or 50% off at a big box craft store.
- The nagging feeling of unease that if you don’t use the coupon, that the store will delete your name from the coupon database and you will never get another, so you better use it or you will regret it!
So get this…I go to Joann’s yesterday, coupon in hand, thinking I’ll buy myself a Mega scalloped punch. I know they are not on sale, so I can use my coupon on them, right? And then I’d only spend about $9, not enough to send us to the poor house in case the worst happens, right? I’m feeling okay with this and I’m confidently striding through the store, in search of a scalloped punch.
Well, there I am and the first aisle in the scrapbooking area has all the Cuttlebug stuff on it. Look, it’s all 40% off too! I have quite a lot of the stuff they have, but there is the Heart Block A2 embossing folder, which I’ve been wanting to buy and since it’s regularly $4.99, it will only be $2.99 on sale and I can still use my coupon on something else!!! Can you see where the fever started to set in? After, all $2.99 is the less than the price of a latte and I’ve very virtuously not gone to Starbucks for two weeks. A coffee is a moment on the lips, the fat and sugar forever on the hips and the rest goes to glory in a very short time…but a Cuttlebug folder is FOREVER! And since I haven’t had my soy milk in my lattes, the perimenopause that I have staved off with consumption of soy products has returned in full force. I’m experiencing some hot flashes…nothing like the big M will have, but I am. still. suffering. Suffering for my art! You can see that, can’t you?!?!?
So the Heart Blocks folder makes its way into my basket. I go into the punch aisle and it just gets worse! For one thing, the only scalloped Mega punch Jo’s carries is the square one and I already have it! Curses! But I’m standing there looking at the display and this woman comes up next to me and starts talking punches with me. She, also, is looking for something on which to use her coupon. My eye falls on the circle border punches from Fiskars, one of which, as you know, I already have, so I point them out to her and tell her how cool they are. I describe how nifty they look when you are using them on cards. She proceeds to pick out one because of my enabling and I think, "I can use my coupon on this!" So I pick out one too. Only to notice: They are all on sale for 40% off anyway!!!
Well, at this point any SANE person would put the punch back and say, "I’ll find something else to use my coupon on" OR they would have said, "Yep, got what I wanted without having to use a coupon, I can throw the coupon away!" But the fever had truly set in. I figure it’s 40% off, so I’ll buy that too…after all, with the discount it’s going to be only $8.99…and they didn’t have the scalloped oval or circle Mega, which is what I was going to use my coupon on…so….
In the basket it goes. But I still have this danged coupon and I refuse to walk out without using it. Some sort of cosmic order will go into flux if I don’t use it! If I don’t use it, I may be dropped out of Joann’s Preferred Customer database, necessitating a return trip to fill out the form to get back on! After all, didn’t I burn all of that precious fossil fuel to get to Joann’s? I don’t go there every week and it is a distance away…I need to make sure that I don’t have to return to use that coupon the following week, right? AND I won’t have to return to get back on the mailing list! It will save me money on gas if I use it now! It will save the environment! Can you see how wrong and deranged I am by this time? Can you?
Now, I will say that I was not totally deranged. At one time, Coupon Fever would have sent me out the door with something truly worth using a coupon on…like something that costs at least $100 normally, but with a coupon would only be $60. But I have learned my lesson…I am more virtuous, more resistant to infection these days. Plus…I’ve already got quite..cough..ahem…a lot of the more..cough..ahem…expensive things that Jo’s carries, so there is no point in buying them again, right? The only expensive thing left is the Cricut and you can’t use the coupon on the Cricut anyway, so there.
So I’m wandering around, looking at stuff…I look at the Fiskars stamp press, reject that, look at rubber stamps, can’t find one I have to have and finally resort to my usual coupon fall-back purchase: a Xyron adhesive cartridge for my 500…I use that one for Perm adhesive because the cartridges are cheaper and save my 510 for laminating and magnets. I am totally out of Permanent adhesive for both my Xyrons…obviously I need this cartridge, right?
So I triumphantly bear my basket off to the check out counter. I virtuously forgo buying a magazine, even though I am a magazine junkie. I am being GOOD.
I rip my coupon out of my flyer and it comes out in a nice torn rectangle, unlike the usual "looks-like-it-was-chewed-out-by-ferrets" look I usually achieve. Obviously, the coupon gods are smiling down on me today! The cashier says, "And what are you using the coupon for?" I indicate the Xyron cartridge and she starts ringing up everything, only to find out…the stinkin’ Xyron cartridge is also on sale!
With Herculean effort I forbore from screaming, "WAIT!!! Let me run back in the store an find something to use this danged coupon on! I am saving GAS and the ENVIRONMENT by using it now! Out of my way!!!!!" Instead I weakly smiled and said, "Gee…guess I’ll have to come back…I have until the 6th of June, right?" And tottered out.
Now, if you’re totally disgusted (and you should be, don’t get me wrong!) I will say that I am not riffling my tip jar to pay for this purchase…the tip jar is for blog support ONLY. And it was only $25 when all was said and done, but I still feel GUILTY. If it helps to rescue any of the regard you once held me in, know that I did go into the Dollar Tree afterwards and didn’t buy a thing which is amazing in itself. And I had to stop at Target for some TP and food and didn’t buy anything out of the Dollar Spot.
So I’m just going to have to make sure to sell as much of my older retired stuff as I can, which reminds me: my Ebay stamp sale. Someone asked for a link and I am providing it IF you are interested. If not, do not feel obligated to go look…even if you get a vicarious pleasure at seeing the guilty party’s hard-earned rubbah going on the block. Though it’s no more than I deserve.
To compound my feelings of guilt, this morning was the big preview order, which I decided to expedite. After all, I have 97 items up on Ebay that, when they sell, will generate more than enough cash to pay for expediting and the whole danged order (gee, why do I sound like I’m trying to justify this to myself…can you say RATIONALIZATION??? I knew you could!), but I also have all the money I squirreled away for Convention, this year not in the center of the known universe in Salt Lake City, but in Denver, Colorado, the Mile High City, where I am fated not to go this year…sob! I told my DH that I would send him to Florida on my free airline ticket instead. He really needs the break more than me. He has a musician friend with a house down there and his friend says he can get him some work down there playing the blues this summer. But he may end up using it on a job interview instead…we’ll see. Still no news about the job…sigh…
Are you wondering what I ordered? Should I tell? Hmmmm….okay:
In the Spotlight – hostess level 2 set
Holidays & Wishes
Pick a Petal
Hugs & Wishes
On Board Blossoms & Basics
Brocade Background DP
Paper Prints Soft Sky DP
All the new In Colors, pads and cardstock, but not reinkers…those can wait.
Rhinestone Ice Circle brads
Rhinestone Fire Square brads
I added a cardstock order I had, then had enough in hostess benefits to add Zoofari and the See You Around jumbo wheel and get them free. Why did I order Zoofari? I wasn’t going to..I should have used the free hostess money to get something off my wish list from the current catalog that isn’t on the retirement list, but I must have still had a bit of the coupon fever left in me. I looked at those constipated birds, the snake that looks like it’s lighting up a cigarette (but it’s really his tongue) and that zany zebra and goofy rhino and something in me just snapped. A few clicks later and I was staring at a print out of my order, saying, "Why did I do that?"
I guess potential poverty hasn’t sunk in enough…it’s going to take some practice to tame the savage shopaholic within.